Right now, there is a school, in a developing nation, who’s students cannot afford uniforms. These need to be packed-up and donated to that school.   

She’s worth coming out of my hiatus for…  

I like it. You should buy it.   

I cant not help but think “Say Peen”.   

And now its on a bjj gear liquidation site. Who would have guessed?  

Feeling too attractive to potential mates? Gym creeps oogling got you down? Self-loathing and want your outside to reflect how ugly you feelnon the inside? Well Scramble BJJ has you covered! Literally.

Simultaneously hide all the gains youve made from squats with creating a ridiculous tan line. Scramble’s innovative combination of 1990’s boxer briefs and 1980’s puffy running shorts may be completely derivative but at least they took the time to dig up two (thankfully dead) fashion trends and combine them into one hideous abomination thats sure to turn heads- the other way. No longer will you wonder why babies cry and cats recoil when they see you. Youll be confident in knowing its not just you, its your awful sense of style. Heres the best part- these are one of the most Pro-Choice garments available. Dont want to risk STI’s or pesky pregnancies? Tug these shorts on.

With a 100% chance of not getting laid* when you wear them Scramble has thrown their hat in the contraception ring and taken out all comers (pun intended.

* This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA  

The Progress M6 Mk V is the perfect weapon on and off the mats. Need to head straight to hand with your Vietnam Conflict LARPing group afyer a long session of spring rolls, the M6 Mk V has you covered giving you the ability to LARP on either side. Are you MAC V/ SOG or VC? The answer is Yes.

450 Gsm’s keep you safe and cool, the competition cut will keep you looking Numbah 1!

* Nón lá and SKS sold separately
** Hydrate, powder your nethers and change your shorts to avoid trench crotch.
  

There’s nothing standard about 93 Brand’s “Standard Issue Long Sleeve Rashguard” except the color. Not even the sizing.

Harkening back to a time when American’s average BMI was under 25%, the 93 brand’s sublime, heavyweight, 4-way stretch fabric privides supreme compression to those muscles you have tucked away under decades of Double Quarter Pounders with cheese. You’ll know exactly what J2’s mom/dad feels like when they put on “their” Spanx without the discomfort of the Buffalo Bill tuck.

Get yourself some if this squeezy goodness before they sell out.   

With their commentary on the recent incursion by Chinese ballons over the continental US, Kitsune’s Red Skies kimono will make a statement on and off the mats.

* Barrett m82a1 not included.
  

“Aesthetic”. A more apt brand name would be “Distasteful”
  

Do your nethers begin to tingle when you walk past the floral section of your local big box market? When people tell you should stop and smell the roses do you not only agree but feel an overwhelming desire to rub your squishy bits on them? When you buy your significant other a springtime bouquet, so you secretly wish you could shove it down your pants and wear it all day?

You may be a Dendropheliac.

The folks at Kitsune have you covered with the “Bloom” compression lined shorts. You’ll be rolling in the clover- er- cherry blossoms and only your training partners will know.

Get your stamen or pistil in these today.

* I’m no one to judge but you’re a weirdo who wants to hump flowers.
* Beware of thorns.
  

Murdered out. An appropriate description for one of the baddest, most modern, competition kimonos from the innovative minds at 93 Brand.

Like ninjas, Spider-Man’s “Back in Black” suit, Sith Lords, black German Shepherd K-9’s, Secret Service Tahoes, stealth bombers, Mercedes S-Classes on Wall Street, the “C-Spec Blackout Kimono” is all business. It’s the competition kimono version of FAFO. It’s 550 GSM (gisms) of IBJJF legal “I’ma fuck you up”, specifically tailored to be a pearl-woven, drill cotton, suit of mat armor.

Think you’ve got what it takes to live up to it? More importantly, does your Profesór?

* Jiu-Jitsu skill not included
* You better bring the hate if you’re wearing this beast.
  

As ive said many times before, I love the way Aesthetic uses the word “Aesthetic” ironically. They may as well revamp their entire lineup’s names and switch it up woth some truth in advertising: The “I picked a bunch of options from a Pakistani manufaturer’s website and this is the best i could do” rashguard. Or the “Check out how pretentious this ambigram embroidery is on an otherwise base model kimono”

*Good taste sold separately
** liscense to Sketchpad (1983) not included.   

From the minds at Scramble Brand comes the coolest rashguard this side of LV-426.

Inspired by the CRT monitors of Bison M-Class, star freighters, the sublimated graphics are sure to make you feel like taking on an incubator chamber full of face huggers. You’ll be applying knee on bellies that’ll make your partner feel like a baby xenomorph is about to erupt from their abdomen. You’ll be setting in mata-leao's on corporate dickheads with your forearms protected by Scramble’s stretch fabric.

Get your Nostromo rashguard and stomp some xenomorph tail today. I just did.   

Because people who train are a-maize-ing.   

Cant contain your “Brony” status any longer but literally dont have the testosterone to shout it from the rooftops? Well Meerkatsu has you covered with the “Zen Unicorn” kimono. The understated gray 450 gsm fabric with tasteful black accents will ensure that you arent gawked at like those weirdos in the tie dued kimonos. Fully emboidered Zen Unicorn logos feature on the sleeves in a rainbow of colors sure to match your hair and beard. And here’s the best part, the full color graphics of your favorite mythological creature are sublimated onto the inside yole of the kimono top! You’ll have the silky sweetmess of the Zen Unicorn rubbing all over your pimply shoulders every time you put it on.

Tell the world you trawl dark web fetish sites without telling them you trawl dark web fetish sites.

*Unicorn ear headband and pin on tail not included
** Compatible woth most aftermarket bridle gags and hooves
*** Discount for Starbucks partners no longer valid.   

I like it. It’s Phalanx. Buy it.   

No story, no fluff, just an honest review of one of my favorite products by one of my favorite brands.

In fact, I’m wearing a pair as I type this.

What you’re gonna hate:

None of the pockets are great. They all hold stuff but none hold stuff really well.

The side pockets are a little low, and the inside of the pockets doesn’t seem really secure, although they are a VAST improvement over the first generation casual Gi pants which acted like a repulsive beam that would literally throw whatever you’d just placed in your pockets right out. The gen 2 pants now have a rearward slant in them that funnels the stuff in your pockets down to one corner. My keys and wallet have both been held securely all day.

The back pocket is too short and too wide to hold your phone securely. It just kind of flops around in there. I know the item description says wallet but what kind of simple chode carries a wallet in their back pocket anymore?

The side lower thigh pocket is just for decoration unless you plan on carrying your mouth guard around with you for those grudge matches in the parking lot of the Açaí Bowl Shop.

There is no provision for a fly so you better get used to being an “over the fence” guy. Thing is, if you have stuff in the pockets you’re gonna be fighting to keep your pants up with one hand and aiming your Pat Shagholi with the other.

If you’re a jujiteira, you’ll have to deal with the pull your pants down tango you’re already used to.

I suggest a Fanny pack if you want to carry lots of gear, securely.

What you’re gonna love:

The cut of these pants is awesome! 93 Band hit it out of the park. They are comfortable, versatile and stylish. I’ve worn them knocking around the house on a lazy Sunday, paired them with a tee and flip flops for casual stuff in town and I’ve also worn them with some nice sneakers and an untucked button down or polo, with a light jacket, to go to dinner or the movies with a date. Think a really cool pair of chinos or jeans.

The tailoring is perfect I’m 6’ 195lbs and I bought the A2 and they fit great after shrinking in hot/hot. My buddy is 5’9” 230lbs and bought the A2H and he loves his too. They do shrink, but in a good way. Treat them like you treat a new set of kimono pants or 501’s until they fit like you want them too.

The material is rip stop so they can definitely benefit from fabric softener or dryer balls. They just seem to get better with every wash.

The color on the navy version is deep, rich navy. Super versatile and I haven’t had any issues with significant fading. I wear mine all the time. My buddy’s olive green ones look awesomely broken in now, like those surplus, rip-stop, OD green, Vietnam jungle fatigues everyone wore in their “skate or die”, “Dead Kennedys” youth.

With all of their shortcomings, this is an awesome set of casual pants. I’ll be buying more tonight. I hope they become your favorite pants too.

You can sleep in them but don’t sleep on them. Get ‘em tonight.

P.s. there was a lot of interest on IG this afternoon so I wouldn’t be surprised if the popular (if not all) sizes sell out tonight   

On call in the ER and still want to get a few rolls in? Got a quick Thoracic Aortic Repair butting up a little too close after competition class? Never been a doctor but always wanted doctor pay?

Trying to impress that partner that loves those chalky pastel after dinner mints? Have a partner with a brown kimono and think it’d be cool to make an Andes mint colored ball when you roll? Love the early 80’s, South Beach, Miami Vice aesthetic but don’t have a kit car Lambo, want to have to get a spiky mullet or listen to Wham!?

Well inverted gear has you covered with one of the most comfortable kimonos I’ve ever worn. Made of 350gsm 80/20, Cotton/ Hemp “hybrid weave” the “Hemp Hybrid” Kimono will keep you cool and more importantly keep you looking cool. The hemp fibers in the weave make this kimono light and durable.

The 12oz Ripstop pants have the hybrid cloth in the gusset, have a secret mouth guard pocket (that can be used for the hospital badge you bought on the dark web) and come with an elastic drawstring woven through Inverted’s innovative 6 loop system.

Feel like a surgeon on the mats, get your shaky hands on an Inverted Hybrid Kimono today.
  

Actual ohoto of what some of you are rolling on.

Buy Fuji mats.   

Ever wonder why your teammates feign injuries just to avoid rolling with you? Ever notice oil rings rippling away from your body when you jump in a pool? Is your athlete’s foot and ringworm starting to show in places people can see? Does the seat of your kimono pants smell like nacho cheese, Fritos and raw onions no matter how many times you wash it in Dawn? Did you really think they call you Skunk Ape because of your grappling prowess?

Soak that stinky kimono in lighter fluid and set a match to it. You can’t douse yourself in gasoline and immolate yourself- you’d have to miss training. What can you do?

Armbar Soap company has the answer.

Armbar soaps are made with 100% natural ingredients. Each bar contains anti-bacterial and anti-fungal essential oils and all natural moisturizers. They’ll get you clean, keep you bug free and make you smell so good, everyone will be lining up to choke you out.

As always, Armbar Soaps are sulfate and paraben free.

Get rid of the swamp ass. Get your Armbar Soap.

(And for the love of all that is good, buy a new kimono)  

Caffeine sensitive? Preworkout make you tingle in your nethers and itch all over? Too scared that your walnuts will turn into hazelnuts on the “bomba”?

Forget all that nonsense and unleash the beast inside with Phalanx’s “Beast” rashguard!

Phalanx’s proprietary 4-way stretch fabric provides just the right amount of compression while still providing full freedom of movement on all planes. The sublimated graphics will let the players and the spectators know that theres about to be a massacre on the mats.

Unleash the beast without taking off your shorts. Show them your wild side with the Phalanx “Beast” rashguard.

* The FDA has not reviewd theae claims.
** Not responsible for an increase in frequency of USADA testing while using this product.   

Drawing inspiration from James Cameron’s blockbuster film franchise “Avatar”, Fuji’s “Elemental” kimono is a must-have addition to your competition kimono collection.

The “lightweight”*, 100% cotton, Na’vi Blue, pearl fabric is perfect for training or competition and will have you feeling some type of way every time you see yourself in the reflection of your dojo’s windows. Youll be ready to plug your neural whip right into Pandora’s box.

* Actual fabric weight not disclosed (Fuji never does)- it’s a Fuji. You get what you get and you’ll like it and keep buying more.
** IBJJF Legal even if it isn’t- because its a Fuji. Come on, what are you, new?
  

Finisher’s is a strong team. Sorry I missed this one- would have loved to support them.   

Seems vaguely familiar.   

Phalanx does it again! Whether chasing your PR on those ridiculous kipping pullups, thrusting your pelvis agressively at the person in front of you, chasing the perfect KB swing, practicing your rubber guard on the mats, riding some tasty waves or sucking down some fine Lager suds at a bechside taco stand at sunset, the Phalanx “Gray Worlds” HPTX shorts have you covered both literally and figuratively.

The HPTX 4-way stretch 100% poly fabric ensures nothing will cramp your style in the box, on the mats or cruising the boardwalk. The wide, heavy duty waistband ensures the only crack youll see is the stuff the homeless guy who set up camp near the public bathrooms has in his glass pipe. No pockets means you always have an excuse to make your date pay. You dont have to mention the hidden pocket- unless you get hammered at said beach bar and start a fight by calling all of the crossfit guys from the box you dropped in on, pussies, then after you choke one, or two out, stumble over to the homeless guy by the batrooms and tell him that no one understands you, (did you take a hit, who knows? you cant remember shit) when all of a sudden the homeless encampment gets raided and because you looks like you rolled around in the shitty end of a dog park and are covered in other peoples blood (not to mention youre REALLY hammered) so you look like the mayor of Shantytown and get hauled off in the paddy wagon. Then youll have to mention the hidden pocket to the booking officer.

You may look like crap and your near term outlook may be pretty bleak, but the sublimated graphics will look like they just came out of the laundry for years to come.

Dont wait, do yourself a favor and make sure you look good at your arraignment. Get yourself a pair of the Phalanx “Gray Worlds” HPTX shorts today- hell, at this price get two! I did!

* Buyer assumes all reaponsibility for securing bail
** Fanny pack with all of your important stuff that youll probably leave at the bar because youre so wasted, sold separately.

  

FYI- 1 oz./yd2= 33.906 g/m2 (gsm). So both this kimono and the zubon is

are about 475 gsm   

Looks like 93 brand took inspiration from Mrs. Batemantinho’s Chanel tote. Would snatch up if it werent for the canvas. I prefer not to bake in my kimonos. I’m on vacation. May or may not be available for product descriptions in the coming days.   

You’ll never take me alive, Copper!   

Love the cheesy reality TV shows of the early 2000’s and their alliterative titles? Then Tatami’s Kimura’s and Kimono’s t-shirt is for you.

Drawing inspiration from the little known, martial arts reality show pitched to junior producers at MTV 3, after a rager with shake weed, not enough Parliament Lights and too many 18 packs of Meister Braü, Tatami reluctantly rakes the muck of Martial arts television programming.

Hosted by Danny Bonaduce with starring roles for such noteworthy celebrities such as: Gary Coleman, That kid from The Wonder Years that everyone thought was Marilyn Manson, Joey From Blossom, the bassist from Alien Ant Farm with the crazy eyebrow tricks, the less anorexic Olsen Twin, Rob Schneider, Farva from Super Troopers, That guy you were really surprised to find out was on SNL for three seasons because you only remember him as a minor character in Sandler movies and more!

Relive the early days of modern pop culture that laid the crappy foundation for pop culture today and snatch up your very own, 100% non wicking, non tech, non organic, Taiwanese sweat shop, child-labor produced cotton tee.

* The Snuggie sold separately
** Flavor Flav not affiliated with this product.   

The Scramble “Varsity” kimono harkens back to a simpler time. Sock hops, poodle skirts, bobby socks, saddle shoes and tuck and roll upholstered back seats. If you loved American Graffiti, Animal House, Grease and Porky’s, this is the kimono for you.

The Varsity kimono isn’t all Brylcream and Aqua Velva. A stylized skull on the shoulder leta your opponents know that just because you’re wearing a giant, cute, fuzzy letter on you chest, doesn’t mean you should be underestimated (even though the skull is fuzzy too).

* Coney Islant Whitefish not included.
** Not responsible for a sudden penchant for staying out past curfew to listen to doo-wop music and roll up a pack of smokes in your rashguard sleeve.   

If you’ve ever wandered what the grappling shorts version of a mullet is, Kitsune has you covered.

Kitsune’s “red sky grappling shorts are all business in the outside, nonstop, Tokyo, underground Yakuza party underneath. The understated four-way stretch outer layer will get you into the most respectable dojo’s in town. When things get heavy on the mats, you’ll have your competition quaking at the thought of losing a pinky to yubisume thanks to the sublimated, traditional Irezumi design on the modesty/compression liner.

Show ‘em who’s boss, show them your Kitsune.

* Strict codes of conduct enforced
** Kitsune does not condone illegal gambling or loan sharking. Buyer assumes liability.


  

Love JiuJitsu but love first-person shooters too? Well Phalanx has you covered with the “Artic Black Ops” rashguard. Stay frosty even in the hottest, most hostile, non-permissive dojo’s. Phalanx’s 4-way stretch fabric gives you the freedom of movement to drive your solid snake into them in a triangle. Long sleeves ensure maximum protection as you sink in the Mata Leao and make your opponent feel the call of doody. You’ll move like a ghost as you take down 10th Planet Austin’s infamous “Rainbow Six” one color of the rainbow at a time.

Its time to level up your rashguard game.

* GPNVG Sold separately
** ITAR restrictions apply.   

Feeling out of place in a world full of normies? all of your BJJ tees still in the hamper because mom has been pulling doubles at the hospital to make ends meet? Tired of walking into Planet Fitness and being mistaken for a run of the mill gym bro? Making beats at the Starbuck’s and nobody knows you could choke them out with a single or a combination of Rener Gracie’s 32 principles? Then the Fuji “Lifestyle” pack may be the backpack you need.
Tired of not being appreciated for your skills in a world full of normies? All your BJJ tees still in the hamper because mom has been pulling double shifts at work to make ends meet? Tired of walking into Planet Fitness and being mistaken for any other gym bro or aspiring fitness influencer? Making beats at the Starbuck’s and disgusted that you could take anyone in the place out with one or several of Rener’s “32 principles”? Then the Fuji “Lifestyle” pack may be the load bearing vessel for you. Youll exchange knowing head nods with every other white belt you encounter in the urban jungle.

Made of high denier Cordura nylon, with genuine YKK zippers throughout, the lifestyle pack has all the room you need for your laptop, your Beats by Dr.Dre, your bulleting journal, your D&D gear and your Nintendo Switch. Additional pockets for a water bottle and a power bank, and a generous front pocket for your retainer case and your InkJoy journaling pens, round out the pack’s cargo capacity. Theres even a fancy key-fob with some Japanese Kanji to give you cred with the manga crowd and for when your mom trusts you enough to get your key back.

* Transit Authority bus pass not included
** Pit Viper sunglasses sold separately  

Are you a mediocre jiujitsu player by day and neurotic, narcissistic, condescending comic by night? Do you regularly fisnd yourself asking what the deal is with this thing, that thing or the other? Does your meal prep consist of bowls of Honey-Oh’s! and bottles of snapple? Do you spend your free time at Monk’s Diner with your ex-girlfriend and your idiotic but affable best friend waxing intellectual about nonsense? Does your eccentric next door neighbor barge into your apartment and raid your fridge as if it were his own? If so, then this may just be the rashguard youve been waiting for.

Drawing inspiration from matches around the Festivus Pole, the team at 93 Brand have taken artistic liscence to new lows. The 90’s colorway takes you back to a time when comedy died over 9 long seasons. You’ll have your rolling partners tapping out seeking “serenity now”

*no jacket required
*Art Vandelay, H.E. Pennypacker and Kel Varnsin not included   

This is where I draw the line. Not worth the brainpower it would take to describe this travesty.   

Beought to you by the minds at Weyland Yutani, The Tyrell Corporation and Fightwear brand, Manto, The “Future” rashguard is shure to turn heads on and off-world.

Whether lounging in the cryo bay with a bunch of strapping space marines after hypersleep, Decompressing after a long day of putting down replicant uprisings off of the Tannehauser Gate, fighting bugs on Hadley’s Hope or just grappling with a combat model Nexus 6 in beautiful downtown LA, this rashguard is for you.

*Negative Voight-Kampff test required for purchase.

**Pfläger-Katsumata Series D 5223 and Armat Battlefield Systems M-241A sold separately.


  

Let your t-shirt do the talking when your Jiu-jitsu can’t.

Tired of thugs giving you hard looks as you queue up in line at the food court Cinnabon? Frustrated that you haven’t been able to tell enough people how your life has changed since you began training almost 3 months ago? Do you tell anyone who’ll lend an ear that you’ve “become comfortable with being uncomfortable”? Have a nagging itch to wear one of 12 new kimonos youve bought off of BJJhq in public because “no pockets”. Annoyed that your genuine white belt keychain you had made on Etsy is turning gray and the rank bar is only big enough to hold one stripe- what happens when you get your next one??? Want all of the chicks at the bar to fawn all over you the way they do for your bro-vet buddy who wears nothing but Grunt Style tees?

Fret no longer! You’ll be able to proudly annouce to the world that you train- and it saved your life- without saying a word.

Gracie Mail-order blue belt sold separately.
Terms and conditions apply.   

Taking inspiration from your favorite hi-viz safety vest, the Manto x4 is sure to get you noticed on and off the mats. Moonlighting as a Walmart greeter and running late after class- Manto has you covered. Laying cable in dark, dirty, man holes? This is the kimono for you.

Plastic flashlight with traffic cone and hard sold separately.   

Abrasion resistant, black stretch fabric, tasteful coral accents to match the spare rashguard in the 93 Brand Standard Issue 2-pack that was destined to lay untouched in the bottom drawer of my dedicated no-gi bureau, stretchy crotch for those occasions when someone's mom wants to roll, the cutest little full-color, embroidered logo this side of Mutual of Omaha's Wild kingdom. A must buy- so I did.   

If you ever said “Aww Mom, just one more game, please!!!” The Phalanx “Sharp” HPTX shorts are for you!

Relive your glory days of slurping down Orange Juliuses while you and your friends stared in amazement at the state of the art graphics standing around the Mortal Kombat machine.

These lightweight 100% polyester shorts feature a drawstring elastic waistband with no Velcro (unlike your Reebok Aerobics HI’s). The sublimated “Sharp” pattern was taken directly from the carpet of a national arcade franchise and is sure to cause a dance, dance revolution in your dojo.

These just the ticket to take you back to the days of random boners and wearing your headgear to bed.

You’ll also receive the added bonus of simulated ground in ABC gum iron on decals, burnt vacuum cleaner belt and ozone scented dryer sheets and a “No food or drinks allowed” patch.

Tokens not included.   

Celebrating the obsolesence of notorious sactioning body, The IBJJF, Tatami’s “Obsolete” gi takes styling cues from 5 year old fashion trends. At 475 gsm, this heavyweight gi is bound to be as oppressive as each new season’s IBJJF rule book. You’ll feel the excitement of finding a Supreme tshirt hidden among the racks of discount retailers like Ross or Marshall’s every time you lay eyes on the ostentaious, yet vaguely familiar branding. “That font, is it supreme or McDonalds?” Buck up, its definitely not Mcdonalds. Youll feel as fly as that guy you see collecting shopping carts in his knockoff Yeezy croc thingys.

  

I love that Aesthetic Brand usues the word aesthetic ironically.   

Scramble shorts with built in short spats on top of scramble long spats is Alpha. The model looking like a fat version of Tate is no cooincidence.   

Fuji mats. Well done. I have 4 of the black in my playroom. Bodily fluids clean right up however they are succeptible to buckle rash from strait jackets or arm/leg restraints.   

Great looking shorts but why the middle seam on the liner? That’s non STI related blister in the making.   

Theres your soap. I pray i never have to hear about it again.   

If youre a young martial artist living in Harlem who has dedicated your life to attaining the mastery of the legendary master, Bruce Lee, who by a matter of happenstance saves one of Prince’s harem (arguably the hottest) who goes on to become an evangelist in real life and is then forced to keep her safe from the Shogun of Harlem, this rashguard may be for you.

Oh and heres the best part, along the way you may lise your virginity (but dont count on it if youre wearing this).

Happy New Year!  

If you spent your weekends, cruising the mall, carrying your Powell Mike McGill by the front truck, playing with the gadgets at The Sharper Image and shoplifting cassettes from Hastings music while trying to get upskirt views of the girls ascending on the escalator, then scarfing down a slice at Sbarro; this is the rashguard for you.   

I find the tramp stamp on this one to be well executed and although not subtle, tasteful. This is definitely more ‘left university where they were persuing a degree in Art Science with a focus on Phallic Sculpture in Early Mesopotamian Civilizations, to become a potter by day and a burlesque dancer by night’ and less ‘left home because mom’s boyfriend used to watch me shower so my boyfriend beat his ass and we moved to Vegas so i could support his dreams of becoming a metal guitarist by dancing the dayshift at a locals club off the strip’.

8/10 will buy.   

This certainly has a… vibe. It’s the whole Yale thing. Closets and cocaine… Tragic.   

So much promise over the last few nights only to come to this… Looking like the CBN Movie of the Week version of a tattoed convict. No thank you. Nonthank you.

Very disappointing.

I did NOT buy this deal.   

Bjjhqburner (at) gmail (dot) com *

*Not affiliated with this site.   

Since all of these have sold out, i hope this isnt a gaux pas. Admin please remove if not allowed.

I have a black canvas A2H Inverted kimono that i purchased by mistake. Laundered once, never trained in. Comes with matching gi bag. First dibs gets it for actual shipping cost within CONUS. Merry Christmas.   

I believe in taking care of my kimonos. In the washer I use cold water. Warm or hot water fades colors and shrinks organic fibers. I Fill the washer with volcanically filtered Artesian spring water I have imported from a aquifer in Fiji, then add a cup of an artisanal white vinegar and a cup of certified kosher salt harvested from the Dead Sea. I allow the salt to completely dissolve in the cold water then place the kimono in the tub. I allow the kimono to soak for exactly 3 hours prior to beginning the wash cycle. While the kimono soaks, I meditate then I prepare the rest of my routine. I remove the kimono from the washer immediately upon completion of the final spin cycle to prevent wrinkling. I then hang the kimono jacket on a selectively and sustainably harvested bamboo hangar I had made by a craftsman in Java. I hang the pants on an up-cycled, surgical stainless steel trouser hangar. Both pieces are then hung in a climate controlled garment drying closet kept at precisely 77° Fahrenheit at 56% humidity with a solar powered fan blowing on them at 8mph. Once the garment is completely dry, I place it into a tumble cycle with no heat along with 6 organic dryer balls made from ethically harvested merino will from New Zealand to impart softness. This lends an impeccable hand to the fabric. The dried and softened kimono is then placed on a cedar hangar and kept in my kimono vault until such time as it is called up in the rotation  

Mother fucker! Anyone want to buy an Ecru Scramble Athlete?   

That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.   

Well, if she divorces me ill have more room in the closet for this one.   

Yeah, I bought this deal… FML  

What in the soccer hooligan, rave culture is going in here?  

These are gonna be big in ATX and PDX   

I was like “Finally… A black gi with purple embroidery…”  

Looks like Enter The Dork.